Today's Warm and Fuzzy Thought

Isn't it bad enough that Fuckus on the Family has created gay panic and hysteria in our country? Apparently, FOF, CFV, and other AMERICAN RIGHT WING CHEST BEATING JESUS FREAKS have been trying to influence Canadian Parliament to vote against adopting same sex marriage. What is it about us (gays and lesbians) that freak these people out? Really, I want to know. What have I done as an average American gay man that has harmed any of them? I truly believe that their fear and hatred (I don't care what they say, that is precisely what it is) has crossed the line and has become pathological. Focusing that much on my sexuality is just not healthy.

I hope that the Canadian Government stands up and fights against this influence from the South. Events like this make me want to put my buttons back on and go militant again. I miss Queer Nation. Maybe what we have forgotten is that our sexuality, in fact our very existence in this country is political. We have tried to just live our lives and be quite subservient homos living in an essential closet. They kept telling us that if you weren't so forceful about it then it wouldn't be an issue. The apparent deal was that if we would go and sit quietly right outside the closet door, we would get the equal treatment that we deserve. Well, we quieted down, and the rights haven't come.

In an era of political correctness, we have changed our vocabulary to become more like everyone else. We have "gay pride" celebrations that are in all honesty a total joke. (I probably won't make any friends with the next few sentences but, whatever) Pride Fest has turned into a day long party that has done very little to actually advance our idea or to improve our community. The only thing to really come out of this day of "celebration" is the opportunity for the nightly news to get their annual 30 seconds of footage featuring drag queens, leather daddies and topless lesbians to remind the families at home what the queers are doing. Now don't get me wrong, I have no problems with drag queens, leather daddies and topless lesbians. In fact, it is probably those three groups that still hold on to some semblance of activism and true sense of what it means to have to fight for basic living rights.

I believe I have written before on the issue of our cause not being the general public's cause. I am astounded by how many people I talk to who don't understand what the actual and real legal status is of my life in our nation. Well let me take this opportunity to share a few ideas:

States without any meaningful legal recognition of same-sex couples: 48

States without basic anti-discriminatory laws that include sexual orientation: 35

Number of GLB members of the armed forces discharged under “Don’t Ask Don’t Tell” in 2003: 787 that is 2.16 a day. Though I admit that was down from the all time recorded high of 1,273 (3.49 a day) in 2001. Then again, we are at war where historically discharges go down until after combat ends when they are likely to rise again.

Number of states where GLB couples are specifically allowed to adopt children: 5 States that absolutely forbid same sex adoption: 6 Same sex adoption in the other 39 states is ambiguous.

What does all this mean? It means that in an overwhelming majority of this country, my relationship with my husband has absolutely no recognition. We are treated as no more than causal roommates. For those of you who are married, think about how many aspects of your life is affected by your marriage and what that means.

It means that in an overwhelming majority of this country I can be refused service because of my sexual orientation, I can be fired because my boss doesn’t like that I am gay, I can be refused room and shelter in a public hotel, I can be refused the rental of an apartment or the purchase of a home, all without legal recourse. Because remember, in order for any discrimination to be illegal, there has to be a law forbidding it.

So whose fault is it? Ours, all of ours. Mine, yours, Focus on the Family’s, Bush’s, HRC’s, all of ours. What can be done? I don’t know, but I know that the answer does not lie in what we are doing today. Something has to change, drastically.

I just find it amazing that in the years since the 1969 Stonewall riots, while we have gained many advances in the overall culture and public acceptance, very little has changed where it matters. It doesn’t matter how many gay characters there are on television or how successful “Queer Eye for the Straight Guy” is, we are treated as second-class citizens in the eyes of the law. And in the end that is all that really matters when the lights go out.